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how to be honest

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1 how to be honest on Thu Sep 20, 2012 3:26 pm


It is known that honesty is the best form of conduct. It seems to be the simplest thing in the world, but to be truly honest with others and with yourself can be a real challenge. Being
politically correct, be sensitive to the feelings of others and face
unpleasant truths about yourself usually requires a lot of patience,
vigilance and work.

edit Steps



Understand how it works dishonesty. Most of us learned as a child to be dishonest. The process usually began with the discovery that different behaviors lead to different results. For
example, say certain things (or not say certain things) lead to
approvals and compliments desirable or undesirable disapproval and
censorship, or punishment. Join a dishonest behavior to achieve desired results is just one step ahead. Over
time, the thought process behind such actions are so ingrained in our
subconscious mind that the person does not even notice their existence.
comes a time when a person loses the ability to learn impose a limit
and know how much dishonesty negatively affects their lives (see
Warnings below). Dishonesty generally becomes a tool.

* We pretend that there is nothing wrong with us.

* We pass the blame to others.

* We avoid embarrassment.

* We deceive ourselves.

* Minimizing conflicts.

* We avoid responsibility or work.



Admit your mistake. Looking
recognize situations where you have not been honest in the past - have
you picked up a biscuit and denied, or blatantly lied about who was
responsible for a traffic accident. Reviewing
past transgressions can cause discomfort and guilt, but recognize when
you've been dishonest in the past can help you identify patterns and
prevent them from continuing.

If you feel guilty for being dishonest in the past, apologize to the
person you lied and / or find a creative way to resolve the situation. For
example, if you got money you knew was not his and made no effort to
return it to the owner, make a donation to charity with an equal or
greater value. If
you lie to a person who holds an important role in his life (partner,
relative or friend), the best (and hardest) thing to do is get rid of
the guilt.

* List the areas where you have some weakness. It
can be something as simple as a trend of making excuses for their
failures, or something complicated, like an impulse to steal. Remember that dishonesty is rooted in fear, then you should seek out and face those fears. Making a list of your problems and working to improve them, you can fight consciously against these habits. If
you get busted lying because you're afraid that someone disapproves of
something, for example, you may need to learn how to stop trying to
please others and be yourself. And
most important: admit your mistakes so you can forgive yourself and use
these experiences to reinforce their determination to improve their
conduct. You can not fix what you do not recognize as a problem.



Think honestly. This may sound silly, but if you do not honestly think you will not be honest. Prejudices and preconceptions can make it hard to distinguish what is really true. Do not accept things for what they seem. When you read, see or hear something, do not make assumptions. Enjoy the benefit of the doubt and be skeptical if necessary. When
you commit to communication and understanding of the truth, can be
humbling to realize that most of what we think we know is actually just
something based on assumptions, not facts. Keep in mind this Jewish proverb: "What you did not see with your eyes, do not witness with your mouth."



Practice honesty in the simple things. This is especially important in situations where "coloring" the facts would not make any difference in the world. As
a matter of fact, we avoid simple thoughtless acts, like picking up the
pencil or someone stealing an apple from the neighbor's walk without
even thinking about it. Abraham
Lincoln became famous for having traveled great distances to return
pennies that did not belong to him - hence the nickname "Honest Abe"
(Abe, the Honest). Through the application of honesty in small things, you will get into the habit of being honest in general.



Exercise your perception. We all know that being literally honest can hurt feelings and hurt friendships. It can also be misinterpreted as a criticism or a lack of support. It
is very tempting to tell a "white lie" to deal with their loved ones
more sensitive (especially children), but you can still be honest,
being creative in the way in which you express the truth.

* Emphasize the positive. Take the focus of what, in all honesty, you think negative. Instead
of saying "No, I do not think you look good in those pants", say "They
are not as good as the black dress, the dress looks amazing on you.
Have you tried using it with those socks that you used at my cousin's wedding last year? ".

* You have the right to remain silent. If you are depressed and do not know how to respond, say "We can talk about this another time?" or "I really do not feel comfortable talking about it. You should discuss this with ...". Do not say "I do not know" if you know something about - it can bother you again in the future. One can see that you know something and you press. Disguise and exit the conversation as quickly as possible.

* When all else fails, be honest, but gently. Give the damaging truth with a twist praise and appreciation, if any, affection.



Find a balance between telling everything in detail and have privacy. Just because you're honest, does not mean you have to tell everything about you (or others). There are some things we do not talk about because there is information that the person applying can or has the right to know. On the other hand, store information that you know to be counted is lying by omission. For example, not telling a romantic partner that you have a child or you've been married in the past is questionable for most. Decide what information should a person know whether or not is a personal decision. Just
because you believe that a person is better not to know something, does
not mean that you are acting in your best interest to hide this
information. Follow
your intuition and put yourself in the position of the person: "If I
were in their shoes, I would feel betrayed if this information was not
shared with me at the appropriate time?"



Remember to be honest is not easy. In essence, it is difficult to be honest because it makes us vulnerable. It
shows the person you really are and that we make mistakes, which gives
others the chance to criticize and reject us in a more painful than if
we had hidden the truth or lied once. And sometimes the truth just hurts. But
honesty develops character as well as the credibility and trust, which
are the pillars of a high self esteem and healthy relationships. Being
honest is not a goal that you scratch like on a complete list - it's an
ongoing process that will challenge you and benefit you throughout your
life. Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.

For most people, keeping secrets to benefit someone is not considered
dishonest, since you are sure that the person you are guarding the
secret understand completely when discovered. Still, it is difficult to determine which secrets are dishonest. Hide
who is organizing a surprise birthday party is one thing, do not tell a
child that she is adopted or that your pet died is more complicated and
will require a classification of personal ethics.

* We make judgments, assumptions and theories every day, but to be honest, it is important to recognize things as they are. When you make a statement, try adding the phrase "According to my experience ..." or "Personally, I noticed that ..." at
the start, or finish with "... but that's just my observation /
experience, which may not reflect the way things are in general." For
example: "In my experience, people who have jobs that require physical
exertion tend to have better physical shape than those working in
office, but that is just my own observation. Might not be a general
rule." It
lets people know that you are making an observation that is limited to
their situation, rather than making a statement (stereotype or
generalization) that is not true.

* Keep in mind these wise words:

the "Never do something you'll have to lie about it later. If you have to lie about it, you should not be doing." [1]

"Son, always tell the truth., so you never have to remember what you said last time." Sam Rayburn (1882 - 1961), Washingtonian, November 1978

the "A half truth is a whole lie." Yiddish Proverb

the "Truth fears no questions." Unknown

the "The cruelest lies are often told in silence." Adlai Stevenson

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we begin to deceive" Sir Walter Scott

* Some may find that the act helps to keep track of their statements to other writing (a diary or something). This can help you see how many times you are honest and how often you are dishonest. Learn from those experiences. Having
a record of past situations where you have been dishonest can help you
consider what you can do better in future situations. Visualize how it will be if you are honest and follow with confidence!

Be wary when someone tells you something in confidence and you feel you
should share this information with someone else (information about a
crime, a lie or a harmful act against someone). This
puts you in a difficult position, especially when the truth comes out,
and eventually the person affected by it find that you knew all along. If
someone starts a sentence with "Say nothing about it, ok?", Be prepared
to say: "If it's something I'd like to know if this situation in
person, please do not tell me. I do not want to be responsible to keep secrets from anyone, only mine. "

* Be alert to groups of colleagues or friends who can take you to "divert" the honesty. Like
any bad habit, you may be pressured to commit it if you choose to be
around people who have no integrity and do not value honesty. You
do not need to automatically find new and true friends, but be aware of
their vulnerability to temptation, if you continue relating with people
openly dishonest.

* Dishonesty has many negative consequences. Often, there are immediate or visible, they often grow over time, until we hit like a brick wall. It can be difficult to see how dishonesty plays an important role in her unhappiness. [2] The consequences can include:

The Becoming insensitive to their feelings, hiding for a long period

Become a deeply confused about what you really want

the Making a bad situation worse

Not to be prepared to face the consequences of their decisions and the reality of their situation, hurting yourself in the end

Being haunted by guilt and fear that their dishonesty is discovered

o An emotional state that can be best described as a "heavy heart"

* If you think you can not control your lies, there may be emotional issues that are beyond the scope of this article. Consider a conversation with a psychologist or other professional who can help you work it through these long-term issues. It
may be that dishonesty is a habit that you have set for your whole
life, and it will take a good deal of introspection and work to
eliminate this pattern.

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